Psychic View: No Comparisons
By Marjorie Young
It is almost certain to guarantee unhappiness when we constantly compare ourselves to others. Yet this is a tendency I encounter frequently among my clients and friends.
“I’ve always wanted to paint, but my sister is the painter in the family,” one might mourn. “I’ve thought of taking tennis lessons, but I know I’m not good enough,” another might explain. Such a perspective is sure to dishearten (as well as providing an unbeatable reason to procrastinate)!
When a client grieves they’re ‘not good enough’…I usually retort ‘not good enough for what?!’ If you possess artistic urges, you need not be the next Picasso or Michelangelo. If you find the idea of an acting class intriguing, you need not rival Meryl Streep! Each of us possesses unique gifts. Should our universe be populated by myriad beings, we are each still one of a kind. We are here to explore our gifts to the utmost, and the result is always better than worthwhile.
If your daughter plays soccer, I presume you would not sneer, ‘forget it sweetie, you’re no Mia Hamm!’ If your son loved math, I doubt you’d make unfavorable comparisons between his ability and Einstein’s. No, hopefully, you’d encourage them to the hilt, urging them to explore their passions.
Why is it, then, that we are so harsh with ourselves? Negative assessments we would never give to loved ones, we freely pour on our own heads. Our ‘reality check’ should be: ‘Would I be this harsh with my kids?’ Conversely, positive support given others should also apply to ourselves. And if not, why not?
Unfortunately, it’s a fact that some receive little encouragement in childhood. “You’ll never amount to anything!” is a ghastly message heaped upon them. But in such cases, the shortcomings lay with the parents not the child! And those same children, as they grow, should realize this, letting go of those ‘prophecies of doom’…instead seizing power to chart a fulfilling, liberated course for their own future.
When we compare ourselves to others, it is likely to be a losing proposition. ‘So and so has a better figure, bigger bank account, better job,’ etc. Even should we (very rarely) think of ourselves having the ‘upper hand’…that merely means we’re denigrating others instead of ourselves…hardly desirable either.
In recent years, I began, quite unexpectedly, writing what has evolved into a fantasy/adventure series, ‘The Boy with Golden Eyes.’ It started simply as a gift for my great-nephew Sam, but has flowered from there, even garnering a number of awards and readers of all ages. Had I told myself (quite truthfully) that ‘I’m no Shakespeare or JK Rowling,’ I would have ended the tale before even beginning, thus depriving myself from a joy-filled, enriching, and marvelous experience.
There is a wise adage: our talents are the universe’s gift to us – how we use them is our gift back. We should always permit what is inside to blossom without judgment or naysaying - thereby enriching not only us but the world we inhabit.
I always welcome your questions and comments. You can reach me by email at: email@example.com
Marjorie is available for readings at the Ballard Sunday Market, her Ballard home, or by phone. Visit her fantasy/adventure series website: www.theboywithgoldeneyes.com
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