Ballard After Dark: Guidance from the gurus

When I am out enjoying the abundant nightlife in Ballard, I sometimes notice things that seem strange. A 4-percent tip being left for a delicious meal with great service. Someone loudly complaining about the lack of seating when they have just walked into King's on a Friday at midnight.

Isn’t there some general evening etiquette and knowledge that people should know to smooth their way?

As I grew up, my parents taught me proper protocol and provided me with those little tricks of life.

“Don’t you dare forget to send a thank you note.” “When boys pull your hair and make fun of you, it means they like you.” “No, you don’t need premium gas Lindsey, you drive a Corolla.”

I also managed to learn some myself along the way.

Thanks to years of waiting in long lines, I learned go to the mall at 8 p.m. on a Tuesday, not on a rainy Saturday at 1 p.m.

And the most important lesson I ever learned? Two words: Kirkland. Signature.

So here is my public service announcement for February: some techniques on navigating nightlife gathered from experts – both friends in the industry as well as local bartenders and servers I pestered for information.

– The most hotly debated topic was tipping, so I set out to find the most common schools of thought for that subject. A standard restaurant tip is 15 percent to 18 percent; at bars, a dollar a drink or 15 percent to 18 percent, whichever is higher.

– Remember that is the standard. If you want to reward impeccable service or reap the benefits of a generous tipper, go higher.

– I heard over and over, “I remember really bad tippers and really good tippers.” Trust me, you don’t want to be known as a bad tipper by the people who are in charge of dispensing the alcohol.

– For happy hour, you should tip on the regular price of the items you order. If the specials are “50 percent off appetizers,” this is an easy feat, but if not, just make your best guess.

– If you are like me and tend to run a credit card tab, bring cash to tip with, at least the first round or two. If the bartender sees the green immediately, it helps your chances of getting your drinks quickly.

– Know what you want when you get up to the bar. It is a busy Saturday night and you have just spent several minutes elbow wrestling your way to the bar and getting the bartenders attention. If you then proceed to say “Hmmm, gee, well, hmm what do I want?” chances are good the bartender will disappear faster than my boyfriend during an episode of "Real Housewives of Orange County."

– However, if you are at a bar that is not crowded and you want to try a new drink, ask the bartender for suggestions. Chances are good they have a specialty you will enjoy and reward with a nice tip.

– Going out to dinner with friends and want separate checks? Mention this to your waiter when you sit, then they know right away to keep orders separate and it saves time. If your group is six or more, expect that only one check is allowed.

– Speak up. If you do not like your entrée, when they ask you how it is do not smile and say, “Great thanks!” then leave a seven percent tip and an untouched plate. Restaurants and bars want you to enjoy your meal or drink so you come again and spend more money. Mention if your phad thai is too spicy, or that your cocktail is overly sweet. Usually something will be done to rectify the situation so you end up happy.

– Become a regular. Anyone that took Marketing 101 knows that it is much cheaper to keep a customer than attract a new one. Bars and restaurants love loyal customers and often reward them with extra personal attention, maybe a free drink or dessert, and you are guaranteed to make new friends and hear some hilarious bar stories. With the great bars and restaurants we are fortunate to have in Ballard, doing this should not be hard. I would divulge to you my “usual spot" – but I don’t want the paparazzi to find out.

There you have it, some tips and tricks from expert mixers and servers.

Have some tips you know from your own experiences? Is there etiquette I am missing or you disagree with? Leave a comment and share the knowledge!

Lindsey Johnson is a devoted Ballardite who loves spending time reading, discovering local eateries and exploring the nightlife Ballard and surrounding areas have to offer. To offer ideas on the latest and greatest activities, email her at ballardafterdark@yahoo.com.